WarioWare: Smooth Moves Wii Video Game Review

Written by: Maxwell Anderson
Date: April 7th, 2010
Rating: 5.0 out of 10

mainOkay, so, yeah, you’ve got your Wii – but what games should you get for it? You obviously can’t just play Wii Sports all the time, so you have to decide what you want to spend your next $40-$50 on. The game that I chose was Warioware: Smooth Moves. Why? Because it was highly, HIGHLY lauded as being “the best game for the Wii.” Hearing a statement like that, you can’t just walk away. So, I bought it. I bought Warioware: Smooth Moves. Everyone explained to me that it is a bunch of micro-games in a row that you have to complete in like 5 seconds, and they look as though they were made while the creator was, and I’m pulling a direct quote here, “on crack.” That sounded like fun to me, so I bought it and stabbed it into my Wii… and away I went.

First off, I’m just going to say, I’m not going to take any pictures of what happens in the game, because 1) it’ll give it away and 2) I don’t want to play that piece of garbage ever again. Surprised to hear that? Well, I was surprised to feel that way. Here is my bold statement for this article: if you like to play normal video games on any other console, you shouldn’t buy this game for your Wii. Yeah, so it makes use of all the dynamics of the all the sensors the Wiimote and Nunchuk have got, in many different ways, but you really can’t just enjoy them. The game play is too spastic for anyone who is looking to relax and play a sweet game. Even from the very start, I was bored with it, just because it’s all the same and all lame. There are a few mini-games (notice it’s not “micro”) in there, but only one of them is any fun – and it’s not worth $40 to $50. Mini-games are similar to micro games, but they’re longer, and a little bit more fun to play. They’re mainly larger adaptations of the smaller micro-games, so instead of having a few seconds to do a certain thing, you can do that certain thing over and over for a few minutes.

I’ll now go through what happens in the game. When you first play it, the first level you can do goes through this video of how Wario came upon this ancient and magical “form baton” (aka the Wiimote) and how he pretty much steals it from some little funny looking animals. Some stuff happens, there’s a scene ripped from Indiana Jones where he takes the Wiimote and a boulder comes chasing after him, and then it starts telling you to do stuff like “rake them” or “pick it” and some other stupid stuff. After you do all those lame-ass micro-games without losing more than 3-4 of them (there are like 10 or 15), then he gets the form baton and you’re like, “oh sweet.” After that, it’s a bunch of the SAME stuff. There are new stupid micro-games like “grab it” or “don’t drop it,” but in the end, they’re all very similar and lame. Lame lame lame. And boring.

You go from level to level doing the same stuff, and once in awhile you learn a new way to hold the Wiimote (form baton). They have little names for these grasps, such as “the boxer” or “the mohawk.” A white screen comes up each time there’s a new way of holding it, and a calm deep voice says something like, “firmly grasp the form baton with your right hand, with your thumb lightly placed over blah blah blah.” After you watch that white screen video for it, you are now expected to remember it, which isn’t too hard. While you’re going through all of the levels, which are all exactly like that Wario stealing the Wiimote one, everytime before you do each stupid micro-game, it tells you which grasp/movement you’re supposed to use. After that screen goes away, up pops the micro-game, along with some vague text, such as “shred it.” You’ve got like five seconds to figure out what you’re supposed to do. Some of them are tricky, but a lot can be figured out just by moving the Wiimote around like an idiot.

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